Mario and Luigi: Stinkin'star Saga
by Koopa Kid
Summary: Mario and Luigi have an adventure in the Beanbean Kingdom which involves a ranting moron, Luigi getting mauled, idiots everywhere, and tons of insuring laughter! Chapter 2 fixed!
1. Chapter 1

Mario and Luigi: Stinkin'star Saga

Part one: Mushroom Kingdom and Stardust Fields

In Peach's Castle Toads are playing trumpets to celebrate the arrival of the Beanbean ambassador.

Toad#1: How much longer do we have to play these trumpets? We've been playing these for 10 hours straight!

Toad#2: Beats me.

Toadsworth: She's coming! She's coming!

Lady Lima walks in with Pea.

Lady Lima: To improve the tie with our kingdoms we present you with a...

Peach: A present! Get your dirty paws off my present, vermin! It's mine all mine!

Peach greedily swipes the present from Pea and opens it.

Peach: There's nothing in here! I was lied to!

Pea: That's not supposed to happen!

A jack-in-the-box comes out and sprays Peach with gas.

Lady Lima: Eyahahahahahahahahahhahahahahahahahahaha!

Lady Lima transforms into the evil witch Cackletta while Pea transforms into Fawful, Cackletta's evil pupil!

Fawful: We shall leave with speediness!

They uh... leave with speediness.

Toad: Oh no! I've gotta warn the Mario and Luigi!

Toad heads towards Mario's Pad.

At Mario's Pad...

Luigi is seen drying clothes outside.

Luigi: Why am I drying clothes out here if I have a dryer?

Toad: Luigi!

Luigi: What's going on?

Toad: Princess Peach is in trouble!

Luigi: That's horrible!

Toad: We need Mario!

Toad dashes into the house and screams "MARIO!" over and over again until he crashes into the shower.

Mario: TOAD! What in the heck are you doing here!

Toad: Oh shoot!

Toad dashes out of the shower and into a nearby wall.

Mario: I went into the shower to be clean and to be left alone! Now let me teach you a lesson!

Mario jumps on Toad's head three times.

Toad: Princess Peach...

Mario: Peach!

Mario sprints out of the house jumps into the clothesline, and drags Luigi to the castle via a rope.

Bowser: Mwahahahahahahahahahhahahahahaha! I've finally got Peach!

Mario comes in and tosses Luigi at Bowser.

Bowser: Bwahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh! Greenie! You attacked me!

Luigi: I didn't attack you!

Bowser starts chasing Luigi around the castle while Mario takes the Toad who's blabbering about action commands and tosses him at Bowser.

Bowser: Arrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrggggggggggggggggggggggggggggghhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh! I've been defeated!

Mario and Luigi walks over to Peach.

Peach: #$&&$#$$&$&$&$&$O#&$$&!

All of the symbols fall on top of Luigi and explodes.

Luigi: Mama mia! That hurt!

Toad: Mario! Mario! Mario! An evil witch stole Peach's voice and replaced it with explosives!

Mario: Is that possible?

Toad: Yes!

Mario: That was a rhetorical question.

Toad: Oh.

Bowser: Mario and Green Guy! We have to get Peach's voice back so I can kidnap her!

Luigi: Why did you just say that in front of every single Toad guard in here?

Bowser: Well... I... uhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh...

Peach: #$&$#$#&!$#&!#$$&&&&&$$!$$$#&$$&!

Mario: Duck and cover!

The castle blows up which sends everyone flying to Toad Town Square.

At Toad Town Square...

Bowser: Meet me at the Koopa Kruiser, my newest invention!

Mario: Didn't you invent that before?

Bowser: Well...

Luigi: Yeah! You had the Koopa Kruiser ever since we were babies!

Bowser: Just meet me there!

Mario starts to walk around in Toad Town Square until a Toad stops him.

Toad#1: I can't reach this mushroom!

Mario grabs the mushroom from the 2 inch tall hedge and gives it to the Toad.

Toad#1: Thank you Mario!

Mario continues to walk around until another Toad stops him.

Toad#2: Help me find my precious item!

Mario looks around.

Mario: I found the precious item! It's... it's... it's... pasta!

Mario gobbles down the pasta.

Toad#2: Noooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo! I was about to eat that for lunch!

The Toad chases Mario until he runs into one of Bowser's Baddies.

Baddie: I can't find the Koopa Kruiser!

Luigi: I'll tell you where he went!

Baddie: Where's Bowser then?

Luigi: He went thatta way!

Baddie: Which way?

Luigi: Keep on going straight through the path.

Baddie: Okay!

The Baddie keeps on going through the path until he runs straight into the Koopa Kruiser.

Bowser: Who did that!

Baddie: I did!

Bowser scorches him with his flamebreath.

Bowser: Mario! Get on here!

Mario jumps on the Koopa Kruiser.

Toadsworth: WAIT!

Toadsworth dashes towards the Koopa Kruiser and was completely unware that he ran over Luigi.

Toadsworth: I'm going to give you... a suitcase!

Mario: Hooray. That's just what I need. A dumb suitcase.

Toadsworth: Here you go!

Toadsworth gives Mario the suitcase.

Mario: Is there anything in here?

Toadsworth: Nope!

Mario: Just as I thought.

Toadsworth jumps off of the Koopa Kruiser and lands on Luigi.

Toadsworth: Good luck on your journey, Mario!

Luigi: Get off of me!

Luigi whacks Toadsworth with Toadsworh's own cane and crawls out from under Toadsworth.

Luigi: Bye!

Bowser: The Koopa Kruiser is about to take off.

Mario: Wait! We need Luigi!

Bowser: You want that green little wimp to come with us?

Mario: Yes!

Bowser: LUIGI! You're coming with us!

Luigi shrugs and jumps on the Koopa Kruiser.

Bowser: Now we're off to the Beanbean Kingdom!

The Koopa Kruiser takes off.

Baddies: Wait up!

The Baddies attempt to chase the Koopa Kruiser but it was too late so they got left behind.

At The Beanbean Kingdom Outskirts...

Speaker: Mario and Mr. Greenie! Please report to the deck at once!

Luigi: I wish that they would stop calling me Mr. Greenie.

Mario: I bet they'll stop eventually.

They start to explore until a Baddie stops them.

Baddie: Let me see your passports!

Mario and Luigi take their passports out of their suitcase and hands them to the Baddie.

Baddie: This isn't good! There's no pictures!

Mario and Luigi: Oh no!

Baddie: Don't worry! I'll take some pictures of you and put them on your passport.

Mario: Oh boy!

Baddie: Now step onto the mat.

Mario steps onto the mat.

Baddie: Say cheese!

Mario: Cheese! Where!

Mario starts to look around and then glares at the Baddie.

Mario: YOU! You have the cheese!

Mario leaps into the air to tackle the Baddie so he snaps the picture right before he gets tackled.

Baddie: It's your turn!

Luigi steps onto the mat.

Baddie: Say cheese!

Luigi: Cheese!

Mario: YOU! You have the cheese!

Mario tackles Luigi and the Baddie takes the picture.

Baddie: Have a nice day!

Luigi: Too late.

They go over to a room where there's a barrel blocking their path.

Mario: Hey! This barrel is blocking our path!

What did I tell you about repeating my lines!

Mario: Sorry.

Mario kicks the barrel which makes it roll into the wall.

Baddie: Hey! Don't yo mess wid da king's stuff dogg!

Luigi: What?

Baddie: Hey! Don't yo mess wid da king's stuff dogg!

Mario: I'm sorry we don't speak rap.

Baddie: I'll transilate dis in english for you peoples. Hey! Don't you mess with the king's cargo dudes!

Luigi: It was in our way!

Baddie: You could've jumped over it!

Mario: Can we go now?

Baddie: Negatory!

They try to go around him but he sidesteps to get in their way.

Mario: That's it!

Mario stuffs the Baddie in the barrel and continues to go through the Koopa Kruiser.

Baddie: Come back here!

Goomba#1: You'll never catch me!

Baddie: Get over here, wimps!

Goomba#2: That's it! You're gonna be pwned.

The Goombas attacks the Baddie and Mario and Luigi takes the Goombas off of the Baddie.

Baddie: You caught them!

Mario: We sure did!

Luigi: What are you going to do with them?

The Baddie pokes both of the Goombas.

Baddie: Tag you're it!

The Goombas start to chase the Baddie.

Mario: That was a complete waste of our time.

They continue to explore until they reach a room with cargo blocking the deck.

Baddie: Oh no! Cargo is blocking the deck! How are we supposed to get there now?

Luigi spots a switch.

Luigi: What does that switch do?

Baddie: It activates the crane which I call Mr. Pinch.

Luigi: That's a dumb name.

Mr. Pinch comes along and lifts Luigi by his pants.  
Luigi: Mario! Help!

Mario: Luigi! I'll save you!

Mario follows Mr. Pinch to the deck.

Bowser: Mario! You finally got here! But where's you're brother?

Mario points to where Mr. Pinch has lifted Luigi in the air.

Bowser: That's gotta ruin his day.

Cackletta: Well, well, well! Look who's here!

Bowser: Who in the heck are you?

Cackletta: I'm Cackletta, the evil witch who stole Peach's voice!

Mario: So you're Cackletta! You're uglier than I thought!

Cackletta: I'm ignoring that. Fawful! Destroy these simpletons!

Cackletta flies away.

Fawful: Hee! Hee! Hee! You fink-rats shall face the wrath of my mustard of doom!

Luigi: Why do you talk funny?

Fawful: Fools! You fink-rats dare insult the pupil of her highness?

Luigi: Pardon?

Fawful: That's it! I'm going to shoot this whole dang ship down!

Fawful shoots the whole dang ship down.

Fawful: I have fury!

At Stardust Fields...

Mario: Where are we?

Luigi: Didn't you look above you? According to the label it says that we're in Stardust Fields.

Mario: Is it a part of the Beanbean Kingdom?

Luigi: How am I supposed to know?

Mario and Luigi shrug and goes inside a nearby building.

Hammer Brother#1: Hello there! In order to cross the Mushroom Border and go into the Beanbean Border you have to a game similar to jumprope.

Mario and Luigi jumps over the border and exits the building.

Hammer Brother#2: Cheaters!

Mario and Luigi continue to trek along the land until they reach some spikes.

Mario: How do we jump over those spikes?

Luigi: Uhhhhhhhhhhhhh... We jump over those spikes?

Mario: Great idea Luigi!

They jump over all of the spikes and continue to go on until they reach a cannon with Bowser in it.

Bowser: Help! Get me out of here!

Luigi: Don't worry! We'll get you out of here somehow.

Tolstar: I'll get him out.

Mario: Really?

Tolstar: Sure. If you give me 100 coins.

Mario shoves Tolstar off of the ledge.

Mario: Con artist!

Bowser: Now get me out of here!

Luigi: We'll figure out a way.

Mario gets out a match and lights the fuse.

Bowser: Mario! What in the heck are you doing!

Bowser gets shot out of the cannon and towards... somewhere else.

Mario: So long King Bowser!

Luigi: Well let's continue our journey through the Beanbean Kingdom!

They go through the cave and into Hoohoo Village.


	2. Chapter 2

Part 2: Hoohoo Village, Hoohoo Mountain, and Minecarts

Guard#1: Hault!

Guard#2: You horrible criminals kidnapped Prince Peasley!

Mario: What does the culprit look like?

Guard#3: He's green, has a helmet, and speaks alot about mustard.

Luigi: That's Fawful!

Guard#1: We finally know the culprit's name! Now you're coming with us!

Mario: But we're the famous Mario Bros., Mario and Luigi!

Guard#2: You speak of nonsense!

Guard#3: Why are you talking funny?

Guard#2: Crap! You fink-rats figured out my true indentity!

Guard#2 transformed into Fawful.

Mario: You won't get away with this!

Luigi: Must... think of... funny line.

Fawful: Die Mario Bros.!

Fawful starts to shoot them with his headgear.

Mario: It's time to go into a fetal position!

They go into a fetal position while Fawful escaspes.

Guard#1: You let him escape!

Guard#2: Attack!

They chased Mario and Luigi around Hoohoo Village until they all ran into a giant rock.

Fawful: So long, fink-rats!

Fawful flies away.

Mario: Nooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo! Now we'll never get Peach's voice back!

Guard#1: Yeah! Unless you see Sledge and Mallet, the hammer making masters!

Luigi: That's a great idea!

They go over to Sledge and Mallet's house.

Guard#2: You let them get away, numbskull!

Guard#1: Are you trying to start something?

Guard#2: Yes!

They fight in a big cloud of dust.

At The Hammerhead Bros. House...

Sledge: Smash!

Mallet: We can't smash anything until we make hammers, stupid!

Sledge: Smash?

Mario: Is that the only thing he can say?

Mallet: Yes.

Sledge: That's not the only thing I can say! Uhhhhhhhhhh... I mean smash!

Luigi: Can you make us some hammers?

Mallet: Yep! You just have to get some Hoohooblocks from Hoohoo Mountain!

Sledge: SMASH!

Sledge tackles Mallet and starts beating him up for no apparent reason.

Mario: Okay...

Mario and Luigi get out of the house and go to Hoohoo Mountain.

They go through the mountain until they see a water fountain.

Mario: I'm thirsty!

Mario drinks all of the water and turns into a big fatso.

Mario: Sticks and stones may break my bones but words may never hurt me!

Look Mario! Sticks and stones!

Mario: Ahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh! Where are they!

Psyche!

Mario: I'll kill you!

You can't touch me.

Mario: Good point.

Luigi: Let's just get back to the story.

They go up a cliff and to a whirlwind.

Face On The Wall: Spin! Spin! Spin!

Mario: What in the crap are you talking about!

Face On The Wall: Get in the friggin' whirlwind!

They go in the whirlwind and they end up on the other side.

Luigi: Hey! Maybe we could use this strategy for the rest of the mountain!

They use this strategy for almost the rest of the mountain until they find a Hoohoo Block.

Mario: Finally! We have a Hoohoo Block!

Mario grabs the Hoohoo Block and for no apparent reason he raises it into the air.

Blablanadon: A rock! It looks so shiny! I must have it!

Blablanadon grabs the Hoohoo Block.

Luigi: Hey we need that!

Blablanadon: No I need that! I like shiny things!

Mario jumps on Blablanadon's head.

Blablanadon: Ouch! That's it! I must battle you for the shiny stone!

Blablanadon starts to scratch Mario and Luigi with his claws.

Luigi: Mario! Give me a boost!

Mario tosses Luigi into the air, which makes Luigi land on Blablanadon's back.

Luigi: Take this!

Luigi starts to punch Blablanadon's head over and over again.

Blablanadon: Ack! I must retreat!

Blablanadon shakes Luigi off and rams into the wall making a bunch of rocks fall right into their path.

Blablanadon: Try to get past that, suckers!

Blablanadon flies away and Mario and Luigi climb over all of those rocks.

Hoohooros: Greetings! I am Hoohooros, an ancient security system!

Mario: Who cares?

Hoohooros: Well anyway you have to pass some tests to get to the mountain top! First you have to retrieve 10 spirits in 30 seconds!

Blue basket balls start to float in the air.

Luigi: You mean we have to get some dumb basketballs floating in the dub air in this dumb place!

Hoohooros: You dare insult my basket balls! I will destroy you!

Hoohooros turns gray and starts shooting lasers at them.

Mario: Those basket balls may be lame but those lasers sure have my attention!

They start to dodge the lasers.

Luigi: Wait! I have an idea!

Mario: What is it?

Luigi: I'll give you a hint: the basket balls.

Mario and Luigi throw the basket balls at Hoohooros.

Hoohooros: Auuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuugggggggggggggggggggggghhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh! I've been defeated!

Mario: We know!

Luigi: For the love of god! Why does everyone keep on telling us when we already know!

Mario and Luigi go to the mountain top.

Mario and Luigi: YOU!

Blablanadon: It's you guys again!

He attempts to ram into Mario and Luigi but Mario kicks him into the egg.

Egg: Rooooooooooooooooooaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaarrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr!

Blablanadon is sent flying out of the egg and onto the ground, after that he loses his grip which makes the Hoohoo Block roll off the ledge and into the Hammer Head Bros'. house.

Dragonhoho comes out of his egg, starts to shoot rocks at Mario and Luigi, and Mario uses Blablanadon to reflect the rocks back at Dragonhoho.

Dragonhoho: Yayyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy!

Mario: What the heck?

Dragonhoho transforms into Prince Peasly.

Peasly: Ha ha ha!

A shine goes around Peasly.

Luigi: Ahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh! My eyes!

Peasly: You're just jealous because I have a better shine than you!

Luigi: Am not!

Peasly: Am too!

Mario: Who are you anyway?

Peasly: I'm Pronce Peasly and I got trapped into an egg by some guy who keeps on talking about fink-rats and mustard of doom.

Luigi: Do you know where he's going?  
Peasly: Well he talked about going to Beanbean Castle.

Mario: We've got to stop him!

Luigi: Blablanadon! Take us to Hoohoo Village!

Blablanadon: Okay! I have nothing better to do anyway!

He takes them down to Hoohoo Village and Mario and Luigi go to the Hammer Head Bros'. house.

Sledge: Smash!

Mallet: He meant that a Hoohoo Block landed in our house and we made some hammers for you!

Sledge: That's not what "smash!" meant!

Mallet: What did it mean?

Sledge: Smash!

Mallet: ... Anywho here's your hammers!

Mario and Luigi walk out of the house and uses the hammers to get rid of all of the rocks and goes into a cave.

Minecart Person: Hello there! Wanna ride my minecarts?

Mario: Whatever.

Minecart Person: But in order to get out of here you have to collect some jewels along the way.

They didn't suceed because Mario accidentally dropped the flashlight, Thwomps kept squishing them, and Bats kept on biting them.

Minecart Person: Jewels?

Mario hands him a bag of jewels and Mario and Luigi go out of the cave.

Luigi: Where did you get that bag of jewels?

Mario: I got them from the jewelry store for Peach.

Luigi: Anywho let's get to Beanbean Castle Tow...

Mallet: Wait!

Luigi: What is it?

Sledge: Smash!

Mallet: He meant that we're gonna teach you to battle enemies with your hammers!

Sledge: What did I tell you! It meant smash!

Mallet: Anywho you can battle enemies with your hammers by poressing the A button or the B button!

Mario: You're useless!

Mallet: I know!

Mario whacks Sledge and Mallet with his hammer which makes them fall off of the ledge.

Luigi: Anyway let's continue our adventure!

They go into Beanbean Castle Town.


End file.
